Love is a beautiful feeling if it is reciprocal and disinterested. But often instead of love comes love, which does not allow to live in peace and prevents meeting with real love. How to get rid of love, from this obsessive unnecessary state?
My friend's son flew out of a prestigious university because of her disastrous passion for a girl who did not pay any attention to him at all. How much effort and labor was put on training and everything went to ashes: he could not recover at the university. How to get rid of this delusion, how not to spoil your life with unnecessary connections? This is what I want to tell you in the article.
Love and love
Each person seeks to find true love, dreams of mutual feelings and happiness. But more often, instead of love, love comes to the life of a person - the illusion of happiness, its shadow. For someone, love brings diversity to life, paints it with vivid feelings and emotions. But for others, falling in love becomes a real nightmare and obsession, deprives sleep and self-esteem. History knows many examples when fatal feelings ruined people's lives, deprived them of natural shame and destroyed moral principles.
Signs of love:
- constant alarm;
- lack of appetite;
- euphoria and arousal;
- inexplicable influx of energy;
- accelerated breathing and heartbeat;
- reluctance to do anything.
A man in love is changing before our eyes, his appearance becomes unrecognizable. In thought, only one idea - the object of love. He cannot think about anything else or anyone in love. A person is losing weight rapidly because he does not want to eat anything. Sometimes a lover cannot and does not want to get out of bed, because life without a love object is simply not sweet.
Scientists compare the state of love with narcotic intoxication, such a state does not always favorably affect the general well-being of a person. Without the object of his passion, the lover feels depressed and overwhelmed.
Important! Being in love is passion and lust, the desire for physical possession of the object of your dreams. This is an ordinary sexual attraction that will disappear over time.
The state of being in love is a real addiction from which you can and should get rid of. If an obsession with the object of your passion arises, it can lead to a mental breakdown or tragedy. If you do not want to be in a psychiatric hospital with obsessive-compulsive disorder, make an appointment with a clinical psychologist immediately. It is very easy to overcome the addiction if you communicate with a specialist in time.
Love is very different from love, because this feeling is not based on selfishness.
Signs of love:
- harmony in the soul and thoughts;
- the person "glows" from within;
- facial features become beautiful;
- there is the fullness of life.
Love is always a simulation of love, its fake and a copy. However, love has nothing to do with obsession with another person. History and fiction knows many examples when an obsession with a person ended with an indomitable hatred for him. From love to hate, one step is about falling in love, not love.
The lover feels the fullness of being, possessing the object of love. A loving person looks at the world and life with different eyes: from the position of kindness and beauty. A lover will never hurt a loved one because he feels him from within himself.
Love is always a search for new impressions and filling with these impressions. When the novelty passes, interest in the object of love disappears with it. The statistics of divorces after a year or two years of living together eloquently speaks about this. Modern priests of the Orthodox Church do not advise newlyweds to get married immediately, so that later they do not hold a divorce ceremony. We need to live with each other and make sure that the feelings are true, and not a fleeting passion under the guise of love.
Note! Love helps to gain a sense of existence.
Love is the decision to grow old together. Love is not afraid of old age body and weakness. Love is when you are together in joy and in sorrow, in health and in sickness. Love is when you see the beauty of the human soul, and not only impressed by its physical forms. Moreover, love does not look at the prestige of the position or status of its halves.
Being in love is almost always discomfort. You can fall in love with a married man, his boss or a colleague, just a scum or a psychopath. From such love you need to get rid of, and soon.
How to get rid of love
If you have lost peace because of falling in love with a boss or a married man, you should try to calm down and understand your condition. A sound assessment of the situation will help to realize the absurdity of the situation. If you are unable to cope with surging emotions that extinguish the voice of reason, find the strength to schedule an appointment with a psychologist.
The first mistake of all lovers - idealization of the object of desire. Man becomes literally an idol, full of perfection and divinity. In love with emphasis does not notice any flaws, and even manages to regard them as virtues. Talking about the shortcomings of the object of desire causes sudden outbursts of anger and irritation.
We must try to find the strength to see the shortcomings of our passion, to listen to the objective assessment of friends and relatives. In love with rose-colored glasses, through which he looks at the object of his passion. Of particular danger is the idealization of the fictional partner, which is imposed on a specific person. That is, the girl came up with the perfect man herself, believed in his existence and "saw" her fantasies in some kind of person. This person does not at all correspond to the fantasy ideal, but the rose-colored glasses of the girl in love do not allow to see reality.
Important! Being in love with a person whose favor is impossible to achieve is better to be immediately destroyed. In addition to suffering, it will not bring anything.
Unfulfilled dreams, constant thoughts and fantasies will not lead to anything good. It only takes energy, steals personal time and brings a lot of trouble. A love for a colleague or a boss is especially unpleasant: it will pass with time, but the residue will remain.
Second mistake lovers - an attempt by all means to attract the attention of the object of desire. It can be noticed by others (especially colleagues) and just laugh it out. Love will pass, and work in this team will be impossible. Therefore, in the United States there is a ban on romance between colleagues. Either you work as employees, or someone from the lovers should resign.
On a note! Never start a novel at work, in most cases this results in the loss of a workplace.
Methods of getting rid of love:
- try to avoid encounters with the object of lust;
- occupy your thoughts with something useful, and not thinking about the "beloved";
- avoid contact with your mutual friends;
- remove anything that might remind you of the object of passion.
Remember that love will be followed by bitter disappointment and remorse for your short-sightedness. Repeat these words when your thoughts return to your “beloved one”. Many who have experienced a sense of false love say about the importance of taking their minds and hands with some kind of work. Active work or sport is well distracted from thoughts and sadness.
How to calm emotions
The emotional sphere plays a leading role in a romantic relationship, so it is necessary to work with it separately.
Psychologists advise girls to switch their attention from the object of desire to their own figure and begin a struggle with it, or rather, with its shortcomings. This lesson absorbs thoughts and time so much that there is simply no strength left for falling in love, and the desire for meetings will quickly disappear.
A visit to a sports section or a fitness club also takes time, and also raises self-esteem. Girls with high self-esteem will not be humiliated and seek unrequited love.
Arrange a shopping trip, look for boutiques, where they hold promotions. Shopping takes time and effort; there is no time left for suffering in the object of desire. If you do not have enough money to buy, you can get a loan.
Sometimes it helps to burn emotions. To do this, you need to remain alone and wind yourself with all your might with memories of your beloved, to bring yourself to hysterics. It may take several days to burn emotions. It is not necessary to do this with witnesses, better without prying eyes.
To successfully combat unnecessary falling in love, you must first recognize that it is a source of discomfort. This unrequited feeling has no perspective, is useless, painful and meaningless. Psychologists equate the feeling of love without reciprocity to a narcotic state and dependence, from which you can get rid of.
Next, you need to remove all objects that directly or indirectly resemble the object of desire (gifts, cards, souvenirs). They can evoke unnecessary memories, provoke bouts of melancholy and sadness.
The third point is to channel all energy into the creative stream. You need to immerse yourself in work, find a hobby for yourself or do charity work. This is called the method of replacing (crowding out) unnecessary thoughts with the right ones.
If you can, you need to ask for vacation at your own expense or go on a business trip. The change of place helps to get rid of the sad reflections on the object of their lust.
Being in love is a mental illness that is based on impressions and emotions. You can fall in love just with a smile or a passing glance, and it doesn’t matter what the object of desire is.
If you cannot cope with love on your own, you can always ask for help from a professional psychologist.