Self-doubt often prevents a person from opening up and making the most of his potential. There was an interesting idea, even a plan for its implementation, but the treacherous thoughts "but suddenly it will not work", "I can not" ruining your initiative at the root. Many people prefer to put up with mediocre life, although they deserve more, they are simply afraid to try.
Causes of self-doubt
Why are there so few people who believe in themselves? The reasons may be different, let's analyze the main ones.
- Upbringing Often, parents and grandparents help us in the development of complexes. When a child is often scolded as a child, they talk about how stupid he is, that he himself cannot do anything, this is postponed in the subconscious and often stays with a person all his life. Neutral phrases that might say "It’s too expensive for us", "We don’t have the money for it", "You didn’t deserve it." Already becoming an adult, a person continues to consider himself unworthy and cannot decide to go for an interview in a good company, buy an expensive car, and meet a gorgeous woman.
- Taunt by others. These may be child injuries when other children laughed at the child or adults expressed negative opinions. In more mature age, this is less common, although it happens in different ways.
- Transferred failures. They can teach a lot with the right mood, but they can break their faith in themselves. Then a person begins to think that he is good for nothing, he does not succeed, he is a loser.
- Lack of support from loved ones. We believe what our people say, and therefore we begin to doubt our own abilities if others do not believe in us. "What nonsense is this your business! Return to official work, otherwise you will fail." Such phrases greatly undermine faith in oneself, especially if a person is trying to start a new business, and he needs support from the side right now.
Confident man: what is he?
What does it mean to be confident? Many do not fully understand this, however, it is necessary to figure it out in order to know what to strive for.
A confident person believes in himself, and does not wait for someone else to believe in him. This implies the presence of will and courage to have and defend their point of view, to go against society. He has peace of mind, does not doubt and is not nervous over trifles. He has a goal to which he aspires, regardless of the opinions of others.
In such a person is felt inner strength. It attracts people to it. A confident person makes dating easier and often gets what he wants.
You may get the impression that you need to be born with a certain set of qualities, and the rest will only have to be watched with envy as someone goes through life with his head raised high. However, it is not. Self-confidence can be developed, you can get rid of the complexes and become the way you want.
Of course, this is a difficult job that will require a lot of time and effort. But don't you deserve to become the master of your life and stop all the time doubting yourself and being nervous over trifles?
Serious injuries and complexes are better to work with a specialist, but there are recommendations that will help you gain confidence in yourself.
What to do to become a confident person
- Imagine the image of self-confidence and scroll through it in your head. You can present different situations and how you react to them, but not from the position of yourself today, but from the position of a confident person. Such mental training will help you create patterns of proper behavior in different situations. When this image is firmly established in thoughts, it will begin to seep into your life.
- Pretend confident. Act as if you had already gained confidence. You will form the habit of behaving this way and become more confident in yourself.
- Set goals and achieve them. No need to immediately plan to climb on Everest. The goal may be small: draw a picture, take a fast reading course, master the method of blind typing on the keyboard. It must be achievable and have an end result so that you can see that it has been achieved. This greatly increases self-esteem, and increases the level of self-confidence.
- Accept your faults. This does not mean that you should not strive to become better. On the contrary, accepting shortcomings, you call things by their proper names, which means they are ready to correct the situation.
- Doubt is normal. Any sane person sometimes worries and doubts. So we are looking for the right solution.
- Make a list of your character strengths and remember them. Pay attention to your merits, it will help to believe in yourself.
- Do not be a perfectionist. Such people are always dissatisfied with the result, because it is very difficult to achieve perfection. They find it harder to start a new business, because first you need to think everything through to the smallest detail, and this is often impossible.
- Grow and improve. Watching your development, you will begin to respect yourself, and this is the way to self-confidence.
- Compare yourself not with others, but with yourself in the past. Have you become better than last year? Did you learn something new? Got experience? So, there is reason for pride and it does not matter that your classmate has already opened a third business. Everyone has their own way and their goals.
- Ask yourself the question: and what of this? You failed the exam - and so what? He threw the guy - and what of it? Such a train of thought will allow us to understand that life does not end, nothing irreparable happens.
How to build communication with others
People are usually very exposed to the opinions of others. Therefore, it is important to adhere to the communication of simple rules that will protect your self-esteem and build the most productive relationship. Remember, your goals and desires should be prioritized. Do not be afraid to set boundaries and refuse people. Sometimes self-doubt causes a person to help everyone, because it's scary to say no. Helping others is good, but first you need to take care of yourself.
- Try to reduce communication with those who criticize you. If there is no self-confidence anyway, why allow someone to trample down the remnants of faith in themselves? Try to communicate with positive-minded people who can support you.
- Accept as a fact that you are not the most interesting person on earth, for whom everyone is watching and noticing the flaws. Some people think that their blunders are noticeable to everyone. In fact, most people are not very interested. Fell, shook off, went on. If anyone laughed at it, he soon forgot.
- Be benevolent. Smile, be interested in other people, try to help them, but to the best of your ability.
- Do not try to appear imperturbable, the most intelligent, experienced, etc. Constant thoughts about how to make the right impression, take a lot of effort and do not contribute to the development of faith in yourself. Oddly enough, but by accepting his weaknesses, a person becomes stronger and more confident.
- Have your say. Some abandon their own point of view to please others, but this is a false path. Even if your opinion is different from the majority, you will be respected for courage, and the one who always agrees is perceived by others as a weak person.
- Forget modesty. Of course, you do not need to shout about your merits, but do not be afraid to apply for what should belong to you. If you want a salary increase, go to the boss, tell about it and argue. It so happens that increases the payment of those who asked, and who was shy - remains on the beans.
- Do not be afraid of people. They are also afraid of you. Many of us lack faith in ourselves, there are fears and doubts. There are no perfect ones among us.